You’re all by yourself

The saying, no man is an island has always been a popular one. Human beings are social creatures. We can’t live without having relationships. Life, isn’t complete if there isn’t people who we love and cared about and people who love us. We always yearn for the close bond. From the moment we were born, those who are lucky enough will experience it from their parents and family members. If there isn’t love in a home, we will walk outside and find it somewhere else.

Today is my last day of class. I’ll be sitting for my finals in a few days time and I just realised that I feel kinda sad that I’ll be leaving my friends. No matter how hard it was for me to be here, I started to enjoy it. In an overall, this year has not been a good year. I cried, millions of times. I get depressed, in the middle of the night or weirdly, sometimes even when I’m out with my friends. I reconfirmed the fact that, things will not always go your way and you got to live it. I went through many ups and downs. But all year-long, I put up a facade. I plastered a smile across my face and it was tiring. I’m tired of everything. My life, my relationship with people, my studies, my future, everything.

Today, it dawns on me that those people who are around you now, there won’t be there all the time. Truth to be told, there are gonna leave you. Either sooner or later. You’re gonna be separated. If not by anything that has happened in this life. Distance, arguments, disagreements or even when you got tired and complacent, you’ll be separated by death. Who is gonna be with you then? No one.

Sometimes when I’m sad, I’ll tell it to my friends, but I understand that they do not understand what I’m going through. It sounds so fickle. After a few times, I just got fed up. I didn’t want to worry them or trouble them. They couldn’t help me either. I’m not one who could open up to people easily. I don’t even tell my best friends what is really going through my head.

I know I’m not the only one going through this and I shouldn’t exaggerate it. But, I just want everything to stop. I want to go home. The only reason I’m still here is because God has always been there for me. I always remind myself that but it is so hard. So very hard to apply it when no one is here.

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Author: smallbitsofhappiness

Just a small little girl trying to get through life in this big big world.

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